There was a time, when I had a fight with my mother. I felt like I'm being abandoned. Feel unwanted. And that was the time when a sudden proposal has been made. A proposal that lead us to the beautiful fairytale. I was talking with a friend of mine at that time regarding this matter,
I cried here
alone
in the darkness of a heart
by the feeling of being left behind
feel miserable
as a result of being unwanted
ignored by the love
abandoned like a puppies
being pushed to the end of nowhere
then it crushed to pieces
scattered
scrambled
on an unnoticeable surface
what left is only a trash
valueless to be treasured
worthless to be appreciated
threatening to be loved
threatening the love with no warning
hurting the love using no weapon
but the blood of tears
is unstoppable
it cannot be seen
yet it can be feel
regretful
ashamed
for the mistake that I've made
but this is me
which cannot be changed
this is me who choose
perhaps one day
the me that you anticipate
will come to you
cherish you
loving you
as expected from you
i love you
i dear you
and this is true
Kei : Unwanted.
Kei : What if you make mistakes all the time but they still love you but you never try to change?
Kei : I'm just a speeding horse who bumped into a tree.
Serene : It is the matter of times.
Serene : Perhaps one day.
Serene : I will change.
Serene : But come to think of it, I'm getting worst. sigh
Kei : Funny. Maybe, when our minds gets older, we'll laugh on this matter
Kei : "why we are so naive and ego that long long time ago"
Serene : Yeah~maybe :'(
and out of sudden
Endy : Will you be my someone? or at least a friend?
"did he wanted to console me?" I'm talking to myself.
Serene : Wah. *touching
Serene : You are already become someone to me, Endy. Since you were upgrading yourself from a pure blood anonymous to a mixed blood anonymous. hee
That is what I called him. a mixed blood anonymous. Since he was a stranger with a name and no figure.
Endy : And I'm trying not becoming an anonymous. Can we at least be a friend?
I left this question without any answer. Because i dont know how to reply. He is still a stranger to me. And I'm afraid of stranger. Then he come again.
Endy : I'm still wishing that you can add me in messenger.
He added more. He has actually been rejected few times to be added in my messenger. I dont dare to give my 'direct conversation' medium to just anybody. But, after a night of thinking and considering, and he seems to be a nice guy, and polite, I then agree to give him my address.
Serene : your wish is my command my dearest mixed blood anonymous friend
And then later, we start our conversation, and it was surprisingly comfortable. And I warn myself, comfort-ness, is the most uncomfortable place. Do not ever trap in it, or you'll get yourself killed without even realizing it. Heh, comfort-ness makes us fall for each other. We trapped in a beautiful fairytale.
