Endymion, my one very last question

the end

I'm closing my book. So, this is the end.  The end of the story; The sevenONEOseven - The Greatest Mountain of A Miracle With A Sweet Little Tragedy. This life is already reach its' end and my new life has already begin. I'm a learner, and will always keep on learning. 

RIP Miracle-Mountain

the farewell saying

i'm having a dream
a delusion of a sweetness emotion
i saw myself sinking
into an unknown place
very dark
yet it warm
i want to stay there forever
but the curiosity kills
it setting on the alarm
to wakes me up
from such a beautiful dream
and makes me realize
a sweet dream is just
another visual images
that passing through my mind
i am ready to accept any pain
because i know
the trust is the cure
wish this will be last forever


an A that being addressed as R
and R being addressed as A
both were stand on a very thin line
of two different unclear world
the new revolutionary of A is a cloud
who tend to suck R's tears
and giving a warm fluffy fatty hugs
and keep it flooded with rainbows of happiness
protecting with her all
so both will stay happily forever
but intensely desirous kills them
maybe she is too eager
it is not wrong to be curious
but its not right to fall for a silhouette
this is actually like a dream
'a delusion of a sweet emotion'
meeting such a charming prince
that she longing for so long
keeping himself in a beautiful silhouette
proudly stand on such a marvelous castle
riding his pegasus to a mountain
and coincidently meet his miracle
R, a grayish outline
that able to shine through her heart
strike the arrow direct into it
crushing to the very thin dark skin
makes it shine with a beautiful love
then it cut into two pieces
before the other half continue the beat inside his beautiful box
a silhouette is something you cant really touch
you cant see
you cant even listen to its voice
the existence is unsure
the feeling is mysterious
but the beat is there
with an unknown thought that you cannot predict
when you are already blinded
any rational thought will totally being ignored
though love actually came from a stimulation process
controlled by your brain
the only thing left
is a hope
a hope of a love will stay there forever
control your heart
and everything will be just fine


there was a guy
his muslim name is 'Harun'
another meaning of 'mountain of strength'
he keep on reading Harun Yahya's works
and telling me stories
and sharing our thought together
instead of i as a muslim give him direction
he as a newbie gave me light of guidance
shining through my darkest heart
giving me a box to fill at
until now
i'm still full with this beautiful remembrance
enjoying every single silence
flashing back every single images
with a little bit of bitter smiles
and full pack of crystal cries
"i'm lucky to have you'
that sound echoes
as far as i remember
i never shown any of my happiness
by having him by my side in this journal of mine
but after i lost him
all i can do is just to write
how empty i am without him to look at
its like i'm having a delusion
which there is nothing to proof the existence of this fairytale
whats left is only God
that give me courage days and nights
if he is still alive
i wish that he will always
stay strong on what ever path that he already grabs
as strong as his name craved well on his character
as strong as mountain stay still on its stand
as strong as the feeling i ever felt
and i know
the story has already reach its end
where the happy ending story
is only a myth in any tales

undefined silhouette

I'm closing my eyes. Memorizing our features. I remember, you have a short and spikey hair, while mine is long and wavy. And I went to saloon, and rebounding my hair. So it can be like yours, straight and black. I can see your cheekbones. They are clearly appeared and they make you look manly.  I got mine too, especially when I laugh. Your skin is yellowish and it is clean and clear while mine is a bit darker with some post-acnes come into sight. You have a sharp nose, while mine that sharp. If I were marrying you, I hope our seven As' will have your nose instead. ha ha. You have a wide grin, and you said "smile, so people will smile, because you are smiling".  And I, I am now can slowly put a smile. And I am proud of it. And I know you will too. Your eyebrows are forever folded, so do mine. And that makes me look like an anime character. I bet you have a funny face too, just like me. You have deep eyes and I think we are even. People scared of staring my eyes. But I am not scared at yours. In fact, I captivated because of yours. You have clear chin line. ah! I fall for your chin line. I'm getting my chin just like yours. I am now dieting. pfft. You like to look smart and casual, a sporty kind of person. Very energetic and happy. While I love to look elegant. I'm a lady in a making. You have short and muscular hands while I have long slender hands though I am not that thin. Both of us have broad shoulder. My body looks like a swimmer though i do not know how to swim. You have such an athletic figure, as you love to do sport activities and build up muscle. You have a big tattoo on your back, and I would love to see it one day. It is your pride. It is also your abashment. I know every lines on your face, and you know every of mine too. But, if we come before each other, we wouldn't be know who we are. Because we never knew each other. Though we dreamt about each other. And we love each other. But the life that we live, has never meant for each other.

[•] the beautiful house of the death

of all things had happened between us
regret never come into my sight
every little pain i ever felt
is the proof that the heart i once gave
is still warmly living inside
the memorial of the beautiful remembrance
is still bloomed with flowers and fragrance
by means of the visitor to this city of the death
is still exist
for past few months
this place is still cherished
with the laughter of our memories
and a year has passed
since the first time
the mountain and the miracle
have been granted a permission to meet
and falling in love together
and the tears of love is still falling
suffer from being in love
is the most beautiful virus
ever infected
the saddest part is the virus is now slowly cure

i'll come again
we'll meet again

Birthday gift

The house of loves
A forever in love together.
I kill you because I'm so in love with you.

Click [here]

Thank you Melissa
for decorating my beautiful house

The confession of love. The revealed of the tragedy.

Endy : Someone is cutting her heart into two
Endy : There's an empty hole inside me.
Endy : And the other half is being cut 
Endy : Seems to fit the empty hole.

After Serene's confession of how she had being blinded before she reached her 30's, Endy made a statement. A sudden statement that really makes Serene lost her words. 

Serene : I thought it was a non-existence space. 
Serene : It can be seen but it can't be touched. 
Serene : So the other half of her heart
Serene : Crushed on the floor instead. 
Endy : It can be touched.
Endy : Try to put the heart into it's place.

Serene paused. She got shivered as she realized there is something creepy on Endy's words.

"Would you be my unintended?"-Endy asked.

There he goes. Serene understand well what he is going to say. 'Unintended'. A song title by Muse " A story of a person coming out of depression because they have recently found happiness from love, and they now wish to see their life through to the end". It is one of her favorite masterpiece. And She knows, Endy's found his happiness by saying those words. Serene is hardly can breath, she wanted some specific clarification from Endy. She is now puzzled. She stand on earth yet she can't feel the ground. "Am I flying?"-she asked herself. 

Endy : I know you understand that.
Serene : But, 
Serene : we signed a 4 years virtual contract aren't we?

A 4 years contract that controls us from betraying our friendship. (refering the previous entry)

Endy : I'm signing another contract
Endy : to put the heart into the non-existence space. 
Endy : So that it won't break.
Endy : So that it won't crush on the floor.
Endy : And let it safe inside me
Serene : Endy, I'm sinking, deep into an unknown space.
Endy : Then, sink into the non-existence space.
Serene : It is a very unsure place
Serene : And I'm not very sure whether it is darkness or it's a light.
Serene : But it is indeed give me warmness
Endy : I can't assure you the light nor the darkness
Endy : But I assure you the comfortance
Serene : Can this sinned dark heart fit in there?
Endy : It suited the most
Serene : Is there any other words better than "I do" to answer you?
Endy : Say that "I would love to be ur unintended"

She paused. But, she is then answered. Too slow that she can't even listen to her voice. She is so nervous, plus the excitement that she never experienced before, a confesion of love.

"I would love to"-Serene replied. Endy smile. Serene shy.

Endy : Your heart is safe in me now.
Serene : I need to hide my face under my pillow
Endy : Nope, hide behind my back.

She feel like in heaven. Having someone else back to cover her. A shoulder that is now hers. A place that she can call as home. A person that she can say "I'm yours". A reason for her to say "Hello, I'm taken".

Endy : I can sense your heart is strongly alive inside me.
Serene : Heh. You are so confident arent you?
Endy : Confidence enough to tell myself that I fall for you
Endy : A sweet tragedy
Serene : A betrayal of friendship
Endy : I'm a traitor. 
Serene : I thought it was me
Endy : Both of us did.
Endy : And that makes it a sweet tragedy.

Tragedy. We called any friendship betrayal as a tragedy. "I will now pronounce you, boyfriend and girlfriend". pfft.

"You may be not be my first. But my heart is full of you, now and no one else. I really fall for you. Thank you for falling for me too"-Serene.

"Thank you to let you heart transferred into me and make me full of you, for just you. You are inside my heart. Dont be scared. I'm yours. When you feel the coldness, I'll be your comforter to warm you. When you your heart covered by the darkness, I'll be your light to brighten you. Dear God, thank you, for the Miracle that You had granted me. And I'm no longer a heartless. I'm taken."-Endy.

So this is how the sweetest tragedy of Mountain and Miracle happen