Living in a 'wonderland' allow me to be myself. Showing my ugliness, showing my sadness, showing my anger, showing the beast in my darkest medium. And through this medium, I can see things that unexpectedly can be seen in my real life, an understanding through observation and saying, because I used metaphor a lot! (that was before). I had bad competency in explaining things beneath, And this medium does helps me cure the poisons that couldn't be pooped out from my body by itself. And one of the person who see the dark me was him. He was still a stranger back then.
Stranger : Serene deactivated FB, and upgrading unclickable right click on your page? Still raining isnt it?
Serene : Sigh~ I'm so afraid when I'm getting too attached, too close with people, because I have a beast inside me that can makes people disappointed. Once a while I need to make my self invisible to public though they dont actually give a damn of my existence. That is why I deactivated it.
Stranger : Dont lose yourself, Serene, this is not the first time you deactivated FB.
Serene : Hee. I'm not losing myself. I'm controlling myself from letting others hurt because of me. It's normally last for few hours only. No big deal. People won't notice.
Happy! I got a stalker. This stupid girl has a stalker. I overjoyed myself because I never experienced having a stalker before. lulz. I dont know, it feels like I'm existed.
Stranger : What a unique way to control yourself. Wow.
Serene : I call it selfish and stupid. Running away is not going to solve my stupid personality problem isnt it?
Stranger : Kahkah. But someone did realize that your FB is deactivated
Serene : Haha. Yeah~ That is so funny. Should I thanking you for noticing my existence or should I be afraid of you instead?
Stranger : I dont know, I considered it as coincidence. eg. your "I lost in a middle of my dark heart" entry, I read it before you changed the original content (coincident while browsing). And there's nothing to be afraid of, coz I'm virtual. And no thanks, coz I'm just a surfer.
Serene : OMG. No wonder you called me Dark Heart. I forgot the content already. It shows my selfishness isnt it? Cant recall. Sometimes I feel so lucky for having this forgetful stupid brain.
I'm a forgetful person, and this is a fact.
Stranger : I will never forget. Dark Heart, with dark layout, with a black labyrinth room (which is your heart) haha. But you aint that selfish, coz you stated already that you are a "perajurit kasih sayang"
Serene : wow. You sure have a very nice memory arent you. Dark layout suit me better I think. My blog is a medium for me to poop.
Stranger : Running away, you said it just now. But you sure have a solid reason for that, right? If not, You won't run recklessly.
Serene : Maybe yes or maybe no. I dunno. I am selfish, told you already. I have dark heart remember?
And Dark Heart remains as my name since that.
