the 4 years contract

Few weeks later after this conversation, Endy said this;

" If you are still available at 30, I'm willing to propose you"

"If I can open my heart for you, why not"-I smile 

"Ok. It's a deal"-Endy

...................................

Life continues. Working, studying and living as usual. My juniors are graduating at that time, and I'm congratulating them for their success. The young Architects are now born. Being a part time Architect and a full time Lecturer make me feel a little bit envy to those who are practicing as a full time Architect. Moreover, after over heard rumors saying that our second degree or being a professional Architect is equivalent to master study. While I am here, furthering my study for another master really makes me frustrated. Having double degrees/double masters  is wasting my age. That is what I think.

Endy : It's okay, the knowledge owns no limitation of age
Serene : I'm a girl. Of course there's some limitation
Endy : The limitation exist 
Endy : When your family/husband doesn't support your ambition.
Endy : And I'm still there for you if we've reach our deal
Endy : Where you are not yet belong to anyone
Serene : Kehkehkeh. Ok. It's a deal
Serene : Hurm... Since u already set a dateline
Serene : I should give a term and condition,  fair and square agreement
Endy : Yes. You can decide the rules.
Serene : And the deal will be 'Our Hearts Are Smiling'
Serene : What do you think?

Endy : Our hearts are smiling to each other?

Endy : For stone races like both of us? 
Endy : Let see whether we can decode the hearts to smile.

Endy : I agree.

Stone race? I think his heart is already smiling. erm. And mine too. So the contract is officially set.

[•] the end of the darkness

The only things left are leaving me one by one due to the in-activeness of the existence. Everyday, waiting at the remembrance garden, watching things vanished, fading to the nothingness, like there's nothing had ever happened, is the sadistic life I'd ever faced. The feeling of watching someone's dying without anything we could do to help. Leaving and being leaved, this is what life all about. The sudden change is a therapy to start a new life.

From the darkness, to the serene of light. Making over something, to chance everything, yet, life's colour is still as nebulous as the stirred of black and white. I used to say that I'm a darkheart-ed girl. And now, I'm a nebulousserene, wanting for some light of guidance, but the light is still hiding somewhere behind the heavy mist.

"I will never forget. The dark heart, the dark layout, with a dark labyrinth room (which is your heart). But I know, you are not that dark, cz you are the Perajurit Kasih Sayang" - Endy said. 

But Endy never knows, that the dark layout is already death, and the white miracle, is the reborn.

#our dream

Our perfect dream is to spend our time with one and another by having our 7A's by our side, with a great breakfast at a warm dining room in a small country house, with sun shine strike direct to the dining table, lighting up our lovely day start, listening to the laughter and the joy and sharing the loves and the cares. Together. Forever. What a lovely dream we could ever imagine. 

Dear God, The seven A's with the seventh soul. Can I really able to have them all? And only MIRACLE can answer.

LEGEND:
Seventh Soul : is the owner of the character two
Seven A's : are the dream children of the character one and two

[•] poisons

Dear God. Dont let poisons control me. I just wanted to be me.

[•] poison leaked

reality
its full with lies and darkness
though lights are still exist
but corruptions will always controling
there are thousands of poisons
injecting every each of my vein,
my breath and my heart beat
deep down i think
the poisons are already dominating
but the cure is still unknown
located at someplace that is unreal
inside the heart of the greatest mountain
that has been hidden by the heavy obscure
maybe raining is the only way
to wipe out this evil mist

#something from the past

"A Caption of A Love & A Pray"
I dedicate this for you Endy

Dear Endymion,

I’ll be forever around

My shoulder is for you to shed your tears on

My mind is for you to conquer

Every minutes every second of time

My love is for you to trust

My heart is to give you beat of life

My smile is to keep you calm

And I’m here to give you drugs all the time

Dear Endymion,

Dont smile when you are sad

I'll be your cloud

And suck all your sad

I'll bring down the rain

And bring you rainbows of fortunate

Dear Endymion,

My biggest happiness

Is to make you smile

To make you happy

And to love you dearly

Dear Endymion,

My biggest sadness

Is to see you cry

To watch you losing your soul

And to help you without helping

Dear Endymion,

Stay shine with beautiful skies

Be tough with all things that confront

Do smile cz God loves you and this is not a lie

Dear Endymion,

Cry with no tears

Missing to no images

Love to only you

And its all given by God

He may give us hell

But He promise us heaven as a reward

Dear Endymion,

Remembering your sweetness might get me diabetes

But having aaroncancer inside me

And aanpneumonia inside you

Is the only hope of my life

And your name is forever stay in my heart

Love,Serenity

[•] knight

TheFourHorseman. There are 3 knights whom I'm familiar with. And because of this place, Endy found me through  his friends, Sir Ultraman and Matahari which both of them coincidentally are my friends. This is a place of virtual revolution. And of course I know nothing about it. I don't have a good brain as they do. YES, the three of them are superb genius. 

http://knightadventure.blogspot.com/

And I was quite surprised that this place is still active. But unfortunately, Sir Ultraman, Matahari and Sir aaROn are already death. Luckily, Matahari has been resurrected few weeks back. He is my brother, the only knight left for me. Still, I hope that my knight is still alive, survived from his own battle at someplace, somewhere. 

#coincidence

The first time ever Endy comes to my place. He used A.J instead of his name like he had told me earlier. And I kind of shock and my body tremble as from fear nor excitement. Because....

-------------------------------------------

hello hi

dont forget to smile

every second every minutes every distance every mile

i'll be away for a while

please leave your message IF you dare to. bubbye

*

A.J. said...

I'm smiling.

Serene said...

Eh, A.J? What a great coincidence. Congratulation for able to smile.

A.J. said...

My name? Great coincidence? Why? May you explain if you dont mind

-------------------------------------------

There are two loves in my whole life. And both were called A.J. The second A.J comes after 4 years I struggled hard to forget the first A.J. Cool heh? Afterall, I live in a fairytale. 

festive seasons

During festive seasons,  I would help out in the kitchen and help Aeryn, my sister in her cooking. We like to make Manok Pansoh and lamb chop for the special dinner.

During festive seasons, I would spend a great dinner with them, and we talk about lives, with our family members are increasing as 1 by 1 get married. i would hang out with the other male family members, in living room, talk about what a great life we have, with the beers on the table.

During festive seasons, my sisters friends would come and enliven our house with their laugh and cheers.

.......during festive season.......

"Hey Endy! There's a festival at the downtown! How's your day?"

memory

Home. It is not just a shelter. It is not necessarily a house. It’s a place of happiness. A place where we enjoy the love with person/things that you care. It maybe a castle, or maybe it is not. Or it can be a non existence space. But it is a place that makes you feel comfortable. It is a place that makes you feel belonging. It is a place that you can be you. It is a place for you to laugh to cry to share everything. It is a place for you to love and to be loved. It is a place for you to come back. It is a place of you.

Living in a sub urban area, in a big house far away from the rumah panjang community never makes me feel that I'm not one of them. I live in a quite modern family with my parent and six other married sisters except for Aeryn. I'm the seventh soul, the only guy, the peacemaker of all girls in my house-whole.

There's a warm living room with sofa set and tv where I can see my niece and nephew play while I'm watching tv. From there, I can smell Aeryn's cook. Mom is doing chores and the others are working. My elder sister, Pai, she seldom home as she work at the big city, 4 hours travel from our place.

There's a deck at the back yard where I normally spend my time with my guy friends, drinks and chitchat-ing. It has a very nice view as our house located at a hillside facing a green mount.

My room is located at the upper level, next to Aeryn's room. It's a warm room where I can spend days in it by reading books.

Aeryn is the closest sibling. We shared almost everything. We consoled each other and we have each other. I always help her to cook for the whole family. She always comes to my room to nag and to read books. 

And everything is changed since the day she found Al-Quran on my book shelf. No more family hours at the living room, no more guys talk between me and dad, no more nagging from my sisters, no more drinks at the back yard. And the house looks empty.

"I'm an orphan, even before my parent died. I'm losing them"-Endy

"My home? I live at the center of two different places, the truth and the false. And my home is no longer my home, because my home is currently become a place for me to escape"-Serene

[•] festive

SELAMAT HARI GAWAI SAYANG

[•] chimes. and it is not beauty

There are two types of unreachable phone call.

one;

"the number you have called is not reachable"

and two;

"the number you have called is not in service"

Can you differentiate these two? 

Yes, you'll get number two after more than 3 months you live with the number one.