The confession of love. The revealed of the tragedy.

Endy : Someone is cutting her heart into two
Endy : There's an empty hole inside me.
Endy : And the other half is being cut 
Endy : Seems to fit the empty hole.

After Serene's confession of how she had being blinded before she reached her 30's, Endy made a statement. A sudden statement that really makes Serene lost her words. 

Serene : I thought it was a non-existence space. 
Serene : It can be seen but it can't be touched. 
Serene : So the other half of her heart
Serene : Crushed on the floor instead. 
Endy : It can be touched.
Endy : Try to put the heart into it's place.

Serene paused. She got shivered as she realized there is something creepy on Endy's words.

"Would you be my unintended?"-Endy asked.

There he goes. Serene understand well what he is going to say. 'Unintended'. A song title by Muse " A story of a person coming out of depression because they have recently found happiness from love, and they now wish to see their life through to the end". It is one of her favorite masterpiece. And She knows, Endy's found his happiness by saying those words. Serene is hardly can breath, she wanted some specific clarification from Endy. She is now puzzled. She stand on earth yet she can't feel the ground. "Am I flying?"-she asked herself. 

Endy : I know you understand that.
Serene : But, 
Serene : we signed a 4 years virtual contract aren't we?

A 4 years contract that controls us from betraying our friendship. (refering the previous entry)

Endy : I'm signing another contract
Endy : to put the heart into the non-existence space. 
Endy : So that it won't break.
Endy : So that it won't crush on the floor.
Endy : And let it safe inside me
Serene : Endy, I'm sinking, deep into an unknown space.
Endy : Then, sink into the non-existence space.
Serene : It is a very unsure place
Serene : And I'm not very sure whether it is darkness or it's a light.
Serene : But it is indeed give me warmness
Endy : I can't assure you the light nor the darkness
Endy : But I assure you the comfortance
Serene : Can this sinned dark heart fit in there?
Endy : It suited the most
Serene : Is there any other words better than "I do" to answer you?
Endy : Say that "I would love to be ur unintended"

She paused. But, she is then answered. Too slow that she can't even listen to her voice. She is so nervous, plus the excitement that she never experienced before, a confesion of love.

"I would love to"-Serene replied. Endy smile. Serene shy. 


Endy : Your heart is safe in me now.
Serene : I need to hide my face under my pillow
Endy : Nope, hide behind my back.

She feel like in heaven. Having someone else back to cover her. A shoulder that is now hers. A place that she can call as home. A person that she can say "I'm yours". A reason for her to say "Hello, I'm taken".

Endy : I can sense your heart is strongly alive inside me.
Serene : Heh. You are so confident arent you?
Endy : Confidence enough to tell myself that I fall for you
Endy : A sweet tragedy
Serene : A betrayal of friendship
Endy : I'm a traitor. 
Serene : I thought it was me
Endy : Both of us did.
Endy : And that makes it a sweet tragedy.

Tragedy. We called any friendship betrayal as a tragedy. "I will now pronounce you, boyfriend and girlfriend". pfft.


"You may be not be my first. But my heart is full of you, now and no one else. I really fall for you. Thank you for falling for me too"-Serene.

"Thank you to let you heart transferred into me and make me full of you, for just you. You are inside my heart. Dont be scared. I'm yours. When you feel the coldness, I'll be your comforter to warm you. When you your heart covered by the darkness, I'll be your light to brighten you. Dear God, thank you, for the Miracle that You had granted me. And I'm no longer a heartless. I'm taken."-Endy.

So this is how the sweetest tragedy of Mountain and Miracle happen

The Insanity

Spending time together everyday seems like a miracle to me. Sharing the laughter, the cares, the thought, the pink ambient making us stepping closer to one and another. The heartbeat keep on chasing the time, faster and faster while every each of the beat singing together with a very beautiful song. The body trembled from the nerves of excitement. And Serene's heart no longer can lie.

"Damn! I got blinded before I reach 30. And whose fault is that?" 

"Dear God, save me from this insanity"

Serene wrote something, somewhere.

Endy was busy doing his stuff, But he noticed this saying somehow.

Endy : My fault. capture me

Serene : But it wont reach. 

Serene : You are too far. 

Serene : You live in my future (4 years forward)

Endy : Indeed. 

Endy : But once kadi said,

Endy : "aku nikahkan dikau dengan Serene"

Endy : "dengan mas kahwin RM7, tunai"

Endy : And I said 

Endy : "aku nikah dengan puteri bulan dengan mas kahwin RM7, tunai"

Endy : And the witness said; "Sah", 

Endy : You'll be mine

Serene : Haha. 

Serene : Silly you. Your lafaz is incorrect. Witness wont say 'sah'

Serene : Plus you are so obsessed with number 7. Am I that cheap? lulz

Endy : I haven't learn about the lafaz, I'll learn it later.

Endy : You are not cheap. 

Endy : It's me who obsessed with number. 

Endy : Let say we use your miracle, RM107k. okay?

Serene : Any number is fine sayang. As long I'm becoming yours

Endy : InsyaAllah

Another dream. some other hope.
Once you get in. You'll lose yourself off

Prince of Earth

There was a time when I was so into the Moon because of a friend of mine was the Sun and his girlfriend was the Star. So we were keep on talking about objects on the sky. Then later I realized. I'm not the Moon. I'm actually a princess coming from the Moon, Serenity. (I always dream that I'm princess Serenity).

Endy : If you are the princess, so let me be the prince
Serene : Ok, then you will be prince Endymion 
Endy : Who is Endymion?
Serene : Endymion is the prince coming from the Earth. 
Serene : He and Serenity had fall for each other 
Serene : Then becoming the legendary of the world greatest love
Serene : This is the story

i aint that sad

you dont need to be worry about that

i know you are not bad

i hope i can listen that

the song that you are good at

hey its full moon tonight

serenity will be come back

to meet her beloved chap

but endymion has been snatched

by bella the antagonist crap

theres nothing serenity can do to help

she commited suicide as the final act

after killing her love on the chest

and the queen send them to earth for a coming back

heh its a good plot right?

i was hoping i was like that

A Bitter Sweet Smile by anooan,2010

Endy : Wow! I look handsome in this picture. 

Endy : And no one will snatch me away

Serene : Sad story isnt it?
Serene : But later, they are reborn as normal person on Earth.
Serene : Bumped each other, and fall again. 
Serene : Then becoming the superhero 
Serene : And saving the world from the demon. 

Endy : Haha. nice story

Endy : Endymion, the prince of the Earth. It suit my name very much. 

Endy : 'The Mountain'

And Endy read sailormoon manga since then. 

the reason of 4 years contract

Endy : Do you want to know why I choose 4 years later to approach you?
Endy : Four years forward, not now.

Serene : Eh, but i thought we were only joking around

Endy : Haha. We'll see when you turned 30

Serene : But why? 

Endy : 4 years
Endy : 4 years to build a stable life
Endy : 4 years to be a good servant to the lord
Endy : 4 years to be a good family leader.

Having a delusional dream is indeed giving people a false hope.

But that is what we people love to do. 

Dreaming, and stay living in a dream.
While the reality, you leave it untouched. 

How a contract should end

There was a day, after being in a contract. Serene asked Endy

"I wonder, how long will this relationship last?"

He replied,

"Until someone comes to you for a marriage proposal"

"or when you ask me to leave"

"So Endy, if someone propose me first"
"Your 'employment' will automatically being terminated"
"kikiki"





but now.......Serene lost her words.
In her hand, is a torn contract document.

the 4 years contract

Few weeks later after this conversation, Endy said this;

" If you are still available at 30, I'm willing to propose you"

"If I can open my heart for you, why not"-I smile 

"Ok. It's a deal"-Endy

...................................

Life continues. Working, studying and living as usual. My juniors are graduating at that time, and I'm congratulating them for their success. The young Architects are now born. Being a part time Architect and a full time Lecturer make me feel a little bit envy to those who are practicing as a full time Architect. Moreover, after over heard rumors saying that our second degree or being a professional Architect is equivalent to master study. While I am here, furthering my study for another master really makes me frustrated. Having double degrees/double masters  is wasting my age. That is what I think.

Endy : It's okay, the knowledge owns no limitation of age
Serene : I'm a girl. Of course there's some limitation
Endy : The limitation exist 
Endy : When your family/husband doesn't support your ambition.
Endy : And I'm still there for you if we've reach our deal
Endy : Where you are not yet belong to anyone
Serene : Kehkehkeh. Ok. It's a deal
Serene : Hurm... Since u already set a dateline
Serene : I should give a term and condition,  fair and square agreement
Endy : Yes. You can decide the rules.
Serene : And the deal will be 'Our Hearts Are Smiling'
Serene : What do you think?

Endy : Our hearts are smiling to each other?

Endy : For stone races like both of us? 
Endy : Let see whether we can decode the hearts to smile.

Endy : I agree.

Stone race? I think his heart is already smiling. erm. And mine too. So the contract is officially set.

a fantasy pray

Whenever people said that they are having so much fun doing things that make them feel released, escaping themselves from the reality, I will then wonder in myself, that I don't even live in my reality. I live in a fairytale. A fantasy land where I thought that I am a princess coming from the moon. I am so much know that miracle never promise me to live happily ever after. All the rainbows, shooting stars, butterflies, they are just overrated. But deep in my heart, I think, I still love living in this virtuality fantasy land. A delusion that can makes me smile at least. cz I fairly know that reality cant really makes me smile. 

My hopes and my prays, are always be this, wishing for a dream comes true. And wishing that the sleeping angel will give my beloved Endy, a beautiful dream tonight and night after and night forever. And hoping that, he wont get any pain and fear. ‌

And Endy's pray was hoping for the sky to protect his cloud. 

"When I look at the world and there’s so much pain and anger, mistakes and failures, I just look at the sky and think God’s still good cause he gave me someone like you that tells me, Angels are still around."- a resend enormous saying by Endy

friend

I am not very friendly. I dont really can make friends by myself unless for business and academic purposes. And I dont have any charm to make people attracted to be my friend. And of course, I have a deserted blog which I seldom promo it for people to read, cz I dont really want to burden people by reading my crap. So, I started to question when someone becoming too eager to be my friend. 

Serene : Dear hubby, why do you want to be my friend?
Endy : I'm keeping the answer after you are 30.
Serene : Why?
Serene : That is too long
Serene : I bet you already forgot by that time
Endy : Nope
Endy : I wont
Endy : I wont forget our deal
Serene : It takes 4 years from now
Serene : Why are are being so secretive?
Serene : Theres nothing wrong to tell your own wifey isnt it?
Endy : There's nothing wrong
Endy : But, let it be a secret.
Endy : If we're destinied to each other, 
Endy : Then it'll be a sweet reason for our 1st night
Endy : But if we are not
Endy : I'll tell you after you married.:d
Serene : Thank you for accepting me as your friend (though I can only know the reason behind it after 4 years)

Its happen when we already close to each other. We were calling ourselves as hubby-wifey. Its for entertainment only, no special feeling in it. But, I think I have been forgotten before I reach 30. And the worst part is, I cant forget him. 

Dark Heart

Living in a 'wonderland' allow me to be myself. Showing my ugliness, showing my sadness, showing my anger, showing the beast in my darkest medium. And through this medium, I can see things that unexpectedly can be seen in my real life, an understanding through observation and saying, because I used metaphor a lot! (that was before). I had bad competency in explaining things beneath, And this medium does helps me cure the poisons that couldn't be pooped out from my body by itself. And one of the person who see the dark me was him. He was still a stranger back then.

Stranger : Serene deactivated FB, and upgrading unclickable right click on your page? Still raining isnt it?

Serene : Sigh~ I'm so afraid when I'm getting too attached, too close with people, because I have a beast inside me that can makes people disappointed. Once a while I need to make my self invisible to public though they dont actually give a damn of my existence. That is why I deactivated it.

Stranger : Dont lose yourself, Serene, this is not the first time you deactivated FB.

Serene : Hee. I'm not losing myself. I'm controlling myself from letting others hurt because of me. It's normally last for few hours only. No big deal. People won't notice.

Happy! I got a stalker. This stupid girl has a stalker. I overjoyed myself because I never experienced having a stalker before. lulz. I dont know, it feels like I'm existed.

Stranger : What a unique way to control yourself. Wow.

Serene : I call it selfish and stupid. Running away is not going to solve my stupid personality problem isnt it?

Stranger : Kahkah. But someone did realize that your FB is deactivated

Serene : Haha. Yeah~ That is so funny. Should I thanking you for noticing my existence or should I be afraid of you instead?

Stranger : I dont know, I considered it as coincidence. eg. your "I lost in a middle of my dark heart" entry,  I read it before you changed the original content (coincident while browsing). And there's nothing to be afraid of, coz I'm virtual. And no thanks, coz I'm just a surfer.

Serene : OMG. No wonder you called me Dark Heart. I forgot the content already. It shows my selfishness isnt it? Cant recall. Sometimes I feel so lucky for having this forgetful stupid brain.

I'm a forgetful person, and this is a fact. 

Stranger : I will never forget. Dark Heart, with dark layout, with a black labyrinth room (which is your heart) haha. But you aint that selfish, coz you stated already that you are a "perajurit kasih sayang"

Serene : wow. You sure have a very nice memory arent you. Dark layout suit me better I think. My blog is a medium for me to poop.

Stranger : Running away, you said it just now. But you sure have a solid reason for that, right? If not, You won't run recklessly. 

Serene : Maybe yes or maybe no. I dunno. I am selfish, told you already. I have dark heart remember?

And Dark Heart remains as my name since that. 

lust

"My heart is dark. I had created rains. Thousands of rains"-Serene

"If i make your heart darker, tell me as fast as you could, and i wont trouble you again"-Endy

On one fine day. Endy tells me something. It's regarding how a friendship can be betrayed in just a minute because of lust. It means, if we let the instinct and emotions controll us more, we might fall recklessly. We do have feelings, but without lust and added by a trust, the feelings are just different. It's logic to love. without logic, lust existed. And if lust exist, he must have falls for me, he said. But he added more that he wont, because he respected me as a friend.

I appreciate those words, and he got my trust for not falls for me. I do respect him as the way he respects in me. And if he might lost his respects towards me, I will still respect him as the way he is.  

And later,

Endy: I wonder, will a 26 years old falls for me? 

Endy: Will the over 25 years old people fall for me? A 22 years old guy. 

Endy: Somehow, i dont think so.

Serene : Hurm, why are you asking? 

Endy: Because you are one of the 25 years old and above.

Serene : Haha. I dunno. Are you really into older woman? Same like most of my friends

Serene :  I wonder, is this a current trend, 

Serene :  for a youngster to fall for elder?

Endy:  maybe, haha

Serene : Why? If the reason is because they dont like clingy girl. 

Serene :  Then, that guy will be later regretted. 

Serene : Because older woman is the most boring creature

Endy: Nope. Not my reason. To me, older woman is antique.

Endy: Damn! It must be the influences brought by my sisters.

Endy: Dont worry, I wont fall for you right now, 

Endy: cause i appreciate our friendship more

Serene : Hee, good to hear that

Endy : Come on. I wont let your heart darken.

Serene : I know, I trust you. 

Endy : Pssst. But I hope you are still available at 30. *laugh

We were contracted under an agreement before. The contract is valid once I get 30. But its still unofficial. Yet.

Our idea of betraying a friendship

"The existence of lust in a friendship is kind of betrayal. 

but it is not a bad betrayal"-Serene

"It is not a betrayal. It is a sweet tragedy"-Endy

L.O.V.E
It can happen anytime, anyplace, any person at any condition

a sudden propose

There was a time, when I had a fight with my mother. I felt like I'm being abandoned. Feel unwanted. And that was the time when a sudden proposal has been made. A proposal that lead us to the beautiful fairytale. I was talking with a friend of mine at that time regarding this matter, 

I cried here

alone

in the darkness of a heart

by the feeling of being left behind

feel miserable

as a result of being unwanted

ignored by the love

abandoned like a puppies

being pushed to the end of nowhere

then it crushed to pieces

scattered

scrambled

on an unnoticeable surface

what left is only a trash

valueless to be treasured

worthless to be appreciated

threatening to be loved

threatening the love with no warning

hurting the love using no weapon

but the blood of tears

is unstoppable

it cannot be seen

yet it can be feel

regretful

ashamed

for the mistake that I've made

but this is me

which cannot be changed

this is me who choose

perhaps one day

the me that you anticipate

will come to you

cherish you

loving you

as expected from you

i love you

i dear you

and this is true

Kei : Unwanted. 

Kei : What if you make mistakes all the time but they still love you but you never try to change? 

Kei : I'm just a speeding horse who bumped into a tree.

Serene : It is the matter of times. 

Serene : Perhaps one day. 

Serene : I will change. 

Serene : But come to think of it, I'm getting worst. sigh

Kei : Funny. Maybe, when our minds gets older, we'll laugh on this matter 

Kei : "why we are so naive and ego that long long time ago"

Serene : Yeah~maybe :'(

and out of sudden

Endy : Will you be my someone? or at least a friend?

"did he wanted to console me?" I'm talking to myself. 

Serene : Wah. *touching

Serene : You are already become someone to me, Endy. Since you were upgrading yourself from a pure blood anonymous to a mixed blood anonymous. hee

That is what I called him. a mixed blood anonymous. Since he was a stranger with a name and no figure. 

Endy : And I'm trying not becoming an anonymous. Can we at least be a friend?

I left this question without any answer. Because i dont know how to reply. He is still a stranger to me. And I'm afraid of stranger. Then he come again. 

Endy : I'm still wishing that you can add me in messenger. 

He added more. He has actually been rejected few times to be added in my messenger. I dont dare to give my 'direct conversation' medium to just anybody. But, after a night of thinking and considering, and he seems to be a nice guy, and polite, I then agree to give him my address. 

Serene : your wish is my command my dearest mixed blood anonymous friend

And then later, we start our conversation, and it was surprisingly comfortable. And I warn myself, comfort-ness, is the most uncomfortable place. Do not ever trap in it, or you'll get yourself killed without even realizing it. Heh, comfort-ness makes us fall for each other. We trapped in a beautiful fairytale. 

metaphor replies

There was a time, when Serene was in her doom, and she wrote this;

dear dark heart

why are you always alone

how am i going to find the answer

if you're always like this

the only think you can do is just

harassing the eyes

and force them to cry

why dont you just be friend with brain

since your voice is not so good in sharing the doubt

i know

your brain is not good

but at least

he is more rational than you

and smarter than you too

while you?

being so emotional & sensitive

then provoke your nerves to tremble

thus hurts others

sorry for making you see

the bad side of my darkest heart

this isn't your fault

it's mine

i'm the one who should be blame

for making this child spoiled

thus creating thoughtless anger

Endy : "you are full of metaphors, Dark Heart"

Serene : "Because I dont know how to nag directly."

Endy : "I'm bored. so, here's a reply for the metaphor"

dear dark heart

you are never alone

the one above us always keeps you safe

you are not harrasing the eyes

but they are attracted with the personality

which made them a loss to not own you

its not the brain of no good

but a wise step of unhurt

the emotional & sensitive are your specialties

the trembles reflects of the sacred wall

which can't satisfy all

where not all can smile,

neither all can cry,

it aint the bad side i see of what you saw of,

but a pure heart to protect others to not fall recklessly

non-blame yourself

unleashed the unbearable stress

as you may make ones smile or cry

which assembled of appreciation

For Serene, understanding her metaphor is like listening to her problems, giving her a very warm hugs. releasing her tense and sharing the same thought so she wont feel alone. So she really be thankful to Endy, for giving this reply, for accompanying her when she is in her doom. And she felt so lucky to have someone that can understand her. That's what she thought. 

frog

"What are you afraid of more? Man or frog?"- This stranger asked

"Hurm, man i suppose. But with God's will, fear will become a strength"

Cewah! I'm good in telling craps am i? Frog? I bet he read my entry before in my blog. I said that I'm so afraid of frog but i have a frog soft-toy and i love it so much. "Is this stranger is my silent reader?" I wonder inside. I was quite happy because i didn't think that i can have one. My blog is a total crap. haha

"Is it? What is cute to you? Is frog cute?"

"Erk. Is there any other option? Frog is disgusting" 

"Weird. You put a frog on ur blog"- He added. Curious 

Wow. I'm good in making a hypothesis. He does read my blog. Lulz. 

"Weird. You are asking me a stupid question thus lead me to become even dumber"
another words of confused, silly me in choosing the right words.lulz
"I have my privilege to not answering the question isn't it? You may proceed to another question or you may go to sleep"

Hurm, I was so cold towards him back then. I dont know why, but maybe this might be the reason why he had falls for me afterwards. The frog issue is a secret. There's only one person knows why, and of course, I wont tell him the reason behind the frog's story. 

the game 2

A nonsense game to others, but it is a treasure to me. showing the stupidity, answering the ridiculousness. I see these as a beautiful memory. There are more than 150 questions in total, a week to answer, and of course  few Q-As are very stupid which can make me LOLed and facepalm-ed every time i read them. But, i'll save those to myself and keep the others here as my treasure to share. 

-------------------------------------------

Imagine that ,you are a Sailormoon with your comrades, in a mission to save earth from the criminal, unexpectedly, one of your comrades is threat to death by the supervillain, but a victim trap in a room that will explode in any minute, who will you save?

-------------------------------------------

I'm Sailormoon~! I'll save myself first. I'm a princess remember? kahkahkah. 

In sailormoon's plot, she always save her comrades first. Then with magic, all the victim will automatically saved.

-------------------------------------------

Why are you wearing purple raya clothes three years a row?

-------------------------------------------

It give me a super natural power so I can detect a handsome guy in a minutes. kahkahkah. joke! I just love it. any problem with that?

-------------------------------------------

Nope. Purple are soft. And u look gorgeous in it (oops. I shouldnt praise you that much. ok. Q. sun shines hard today, but do you prefer rain or what whether do you prefer actually?

-------------------------------------------

Haha. Thank you. I'm ok with today. But I do love rainy days more. It makes me feel alive.

-------------------------------------------

What is commitment to you?

-------------------------------------------

Hurm, I wonder. As a super hero. I need to save the world isnt it? Yes. that is my answer. It is my responsibility to make sure earth is not in danger

-------------------------------------------

I'm a second bumi's (which means a non-mus), were differentiated by our religion even we are the bumi's while malays are the 1st class bumi's. whats your opinion if real 1Malaysia is implemented where malay and other races/religion were given a fair quota

-------------------------------------------

Er, I dunno. I admire how Indonesia & Thailand control their nationality. There are no such Chinese or Malays. They all Indonesian, they are all thailand's and speak their mother tongue fluently. I'm trying my hard for not becoming a racist. Luckily I can do that.

Yes! I agree. We can built our country base on love, trust & justice.

-------------------------------------------

Would you like to have a dinner with me, which i cook by myself?

-------------------------------------------

If you insist. why not? Its free anyway. Thank you for offering me. It will be my pleasure

-------------------------------------------

Do you prefer a guy who smokes or a guy who do not?

-------------------------------------------

A very clean personality of course. But guy who smoke looks cooler. Yes because they'll going to get 'cold' earlier. lulz

to be continued

the game

It has been 6 months since the 1st time we started our conversation. I treasure every single word that bonding us together. It is the start. The introduction. The beginning of everything. The get-to-know-each-other.

Our conversation begin with a game. A game of questions and answer. And the game is start with the idea of;  people can see your personality from the way you asking questions and the way you answering the questions. words, it shows everything. so beware of your saying. cz if you can create a friend by your statement. you, might as well can create an enemy (me, 2011)

-------------------------------------------

"If someone comes to you, and propose you, will you accept it? (He is your friend who hang out with you)"-He started the game.

-------------------------------------------

"Hurm, I dont think there's such person among my friends. But if it does exist, it will be my pleasure to accept, IF he really shows his willingness to accept me the way I am & will care, will love only me for the rest of his life. Really hope I can open up my heart for such person."-I answered. And this is honest.

-------------------------------------------

"Life ain't about romance. Agree?"- The 2nd Q.

-------------------------------------------

"As for my logic. I do agree. But as for my very fantasies imaginative affected from sailormoon series, i'm hoping for something very romantic & so like fairytale. KAHKAHKAH."

My answer hit me back now. Yes, my love story is so like a fairytale. And I pray hard to make it comes true.  If i know this would happen, I definitely wont hoping for something unreal. 

-------------------------------------------

"Are you better than your past or do you want to ask Doraemon to lend you a time machine? If so, which time will you choose to go back?"

-------------------------------------------

I'm good with the way I am now & i'll make sure that I'll be a better person now & then. With Allah's will. So there's no need for a doraemon."

but I want a Doreamon now. because i want to be with the person that makes me feel alive.

-------------------------------------------

"Is it fair to judge people by not knowing the exact plan and the whole overview; but by judging them by the surface?"

-------------------------------------------

"Nope! Totally disagree. But sometimes we can't control ourselves from having this dirty thought"

-------------------------------------------

"Man, are given a quota to marry 4 women in the same time. What is your opinion if man apply this advantage in before-marriage relationship? (which means he is having a relationship more than a woman where he has girlfriend but the others are spare-parts?"

-------------------------------------------

A very serious Q i guess. That time, I didn't know that he was a non-muslim. He might be curious in muslim's polygamy system though he already learned Islam for years before he converted afterwards. 

"what is the condition to be a good husband in a polygamy? Is to be fair isn't it? How can a girlfriend & a spare-part stand on a same level since a spare-part is not a girlfriend? Poor that spare-part. Being played by irresponsible creature."-I answered. 

i don't know whether my reply really breaks his curiosity in islamic polygamy system or not. But i hope it does.

And i miss this game

and the conversation continue

My cold reply brings him to another question.

"Is it worth to step on your pride?"- he asked

Owh damn! How should I reply him? I am so afraid of stranger. I dont know where did I get the idea that this stranger is a he, but I was pretty sure that he is a he. and I am kind of allergic to these he species thanks to my girls school.

"If I need to step on it for the sake of helping world, why not?"

My answer is referring to my passion to my childhood cartoon, Sailormoon.

"Helping world? So you are worth of a superhero?"

He really can make a cold joke. hurm. I laugh.

"kehkehkeh. oh i wish to. haha"

i start to loosing up our tight conversation as I hate being in any awkward situation. Laugh will break it. That is my believe

the first

A stranger ask me this;

"Life is discrete, continuous and vulnerable;

thus, make it evergreen, like the sounds of Pachelbel's"

This is something that my stupid brain cannot catch, so I ignored. I don't even know who is Pachelbel. I wonder why this stranger suddenly ask me this. Realizing that he is being ignored, he later ask me another question.

"Dark Heart, do you lose your pride?"

Hurm, mad because I didn't answer his question I guess.

"OMG. I step on it! Thank you for telling me this" - I replied. Cold

"Dark Heart, still rain inside or the moon shines already?" -another question? i mumbled inside. But i do swayed a bit, how come a stranger can be so concerned about my feelings.

"Thank God. He created rainbow after a rainy day. Moon? It's too bright outside. Could not see it. Tonight probably, moon will proudly shine and entertain our night. But I bet, it is not a full moon." -I'm talking weather. haha.

The very first conversation we have made. He called me Dark Heart as I always telling myself that I have a very dark heart.

the starter

"silence is also a melody. tell your heart that the silence is a sound of peace & calm. then the heart can interact with your lips. to make a little grin thus can make others smile. that is so romantic isnt it" - Serene kept telling her self this

"metaphors"-Endy said.

"you are full with metaphors"- adding him again

"when you are feel lonely

try to think that loneliness is actually a very beautiful melody

means your happy memory will entertain you"- i replied

"agreed"-Endy

this is how we start. but this is not the first time we met. 

character two : the mountain

i'm a prince coming from earth

a cancerian cum virgo (registration issue)

the owner of the number seven

namely as mountain in Hebrew

known as endy

Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"

Priest: "No, not if you did not know."

Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"

life without faith is equal to the earth without a sun.

the contradictions crushing me to pieces,

yet i awake to what worth more.

for a faith that can lead me to heaven's door.

for a life that i cherish for.

for the very first step in the blog world, i'm ranting,

i'm the son of mr J,

and the seventh soul existed in the family