[•] the beautiful house of the death

of all things had happened between us

regret never come into my sight

every little pain i ever felt

is the proof that the heart i once gave

is still warmly living inside

the memorial of the beautiful remembrance

is still bloomed with flowers and fragrance

by means of the visitor to this city of the death

is still exist

for past few months

this place is still cherished

with the laughter of our memories

and a year has passed

since the first time

the mountain and the miracle

have been granted a permission to meet

and falling in love together

and the tears of love is still falling

suffer from being in love

is the most beautiful virus

ever infected

the saddest part is the virus is now slowly cure

i'll come again

we'll meet again

Birthday gift

The house of loves
A forever in love together.
I kill you because I'm so in love with you.
pfft


Click [here]


Thank you Melissa
for decorating my beautiful house

16 | 09 | 2011

Happy Birthday to you
You were born in the zoo
Like a monkey and kangaroo
Happy Birthday to you

It is such a waste when you know how to play birthday song but the birthday person can't listen to your play. It is sad, when you thought that you could spend the day together but it ended up you are alone looking at the time ticking until the day's end. It is tearful, when you have been dreaming days and night, the celebration of this coming day but the day doesn't give any damn of how it should be celebrated.

Looking at the moon, it is not perfectly full, but the shine is still so bright. The brightness that give people hopes. The light that guide people in a darkness. The beauty that makes people dazzled. I'm holding my hands, wishing to the moon light, hoping the missing person sharing the same sight, embracing the same dream, fantasizing the same thought.

I'm glad that we have been met. I'm gratified that you were born. I'm pleased that you were ever exist in this very short life. I'm happy that we have shared our beautiful memories together. I'm thanking God for His creation. And for this very day, I'm wishing you a Happy Birthday and have a blast, this year and upcoming years. Thank you for being born. 

[•] the end of the darkness

The only things left are leaving me one by one due to the in-activeness of the existence. Everyday, waiting at the remembrance garden, watching things vanished, fading to the nothingness, like there's nothing had ever happened, is the sadistic life I'd ever faced. The feeling of watching someone's dying without anything we could do to help. Leaving and being leaved, this is what life all about. The sudden change is a therapy to start a new life.

From the darkness, to the serene of light. Making over something, to chance everything, yet, life's colour is still as nebulous as the stirred of black and white. I used to say that I'm a darkheart-ed girl. And now, I'm a nebulousserene, wanting for some light of guidance, but the light is still hiding somewhere behind the heavy mist.

"I will never forget. The dark heart, the dark layout, with a dark labyrinth room (which is your heart). But I know, you are not that dark, cz you are the Perajurit Kasih Sayang" - Endy said. 

But Endy never knows, that the dark layout is already death, and the white miracle, is the reborn.

[•] poisons

Dear God. Dont let poisons control me. I just wanted to be me.

[•] poison leaked

reality
its full with lies and darkness
though lights are still exist
but corruptions will always controling
there are thousands of poisons
injecting every each of my vein,
my breath and my heart beat
deep down i think
the poisons are already dominating
but the cure is still unknown
located at someplace that is unreal
inside the heart of the greatest mountain
that has been hidden by the heavy obscure
maybe raining is the only way
to wipe out this evil mist

[•] knight

TheFourHorseman. There are 3 knights whom I'm familiar with. And because of this place, Endy found me through  his friends, Sir Ultraman and Matahari which both of them coincidentally are my friends. This is a place of virtual revolution. And of course I know nothing about it. I don't have a good brain as they do. YES, the three of them are superb genius. 

http://knightadventure.blogspot.com/

And I was quite surprised that this place is still active. But unfortunately, Sir Ultraman, Matahari and Sir aaROn are already death. Luckily, Matahari has been resurrected few weeks back. He is my brother, the only knight left for me. Still, I hope that my knight is still alive, survived from his own battle at someplace, somewhere. 

[•] festive

SELAMAT HARI GAWAI SAYANG

[•] chimes. and it is not beauty

There are two types of unreachable phone call.

one;

"the number you have called is not reachable"

and two;

"the number you have called is not in service"

Can you differentiate these two? 

Yes, you'll get number two after more than 3 months you live with the number one.

Miracle

Miracle of romance. It is something that I do believe in. But it is something that impossible to be happened to me. To fall for someone like me, 'cair' as I've been told by Ultraman, showing the fragile-ness, showing the tears, act like a lovely young lady, who is refined and polite, though I am actually not. I'm a curse bitch, hiding the beast inside my body, who tend to kill every person that comes near me. 

"I guess many had fall for you isnt it?"

"Somehow I sense that you are adored by your personality"

Endy said that twice when he was still a stranger to me. 

"But I'm not adoring you" Endy added more. 

Yet. He had falls for me without realizing it. And same goes with me. I call this miracle. Love is something you cannot predict. It comes and it goes. It blooms and it crashed. 

"I should work double harder to make you adore me" a joke from me. 

"Kahkahkah. There's no need to." He replied

"I'm virtual. And what you see is a non-image person" 

His reply gave me a head shot. Falling in love with a non-image person is something we shouldn't do. Standing on a very thin line, a separator between virtuality and reality, somehow makes me lost in my own dark labyrinth heart.  And I wish, miracle will happen to me again.

p/s : Thanks for the comments dearest loves. I locked it up cz I love the number. 107, the miracle. And I love you guys too.

[•] morning prayer

I know how hard mountain had tried to get my attention. 

And now, it is my time to get his. 

Dear angels of miracle, 

please let my words spread and seep into mountain's heart. 

[•] another attempt failed

"Dear mountain, sorry for the delay. The one and only light is ignoring me. I'll try to look for some other lights. For sure, You'll be seen soon."

God, makes the dream comes true

[•] the present 2 | shock news

"Hello Serene. I got a good news. There's someone knows him. He is real"

A phone call from my friend, Crow. I'm thanking him for giving me such a very good news after being in a wonder for months. There's nothing can make me happy more than this news. A light. I can see a light. Dear God. Please let the light stay shine. I want to see mountain again.



I try to contact that person afterwards, lucky me I can get through the line though he is not on the line. I'm still waiting for this person's reply. My only hope. My one and only light. 

[•] the present 1 | the tower

i'm staring from far
at the infamous purple twin tower
that proudly stand on the very peak point
slowly i come over
parking my car at the very close parking lot
i'm taking a deep breath
the same air that you ever inhaled
i am now standing at your place
heart start to race
my eyes become teary
all i have in mind is a hope
a hope that we can bump each other


i walk into a very empty corridor
few people are focusing on their books
ignoring my existance as i look like i am one of them
i study every faces that i bumped into
hoping to see the familiar features
and the result is nothingness
i glance every walls
expecting to find some boards of notice
and yes i found few
i study every single alphabert that appear before me
no words lucky to captivate my eyes
i realize that my first attempt is failed
i feel dispirited
"maybe there's no luck for me today"- i said


and now
all i can do is to cry
in front of a peaceful lakealone